Today is the day when I decided 2 change

Ok, today i woke up, with various determinations:

1. I will stop smoking
2. I will start again writing my book
3. I will start eating good food, no more junk food
4. I will start using my excercise machina
5. I will get back on my daily yoga routine
6. I will be positive
7. I will learn to smile again

Ok, maybe im setting myself a few too many goals... but is like the great sleeping weekend i had (sleep therapy, self induced, no drugs (i.e. Cataflam, Tylenol, etc.) nor alcohol included) , and i woke up new!

It is time i let go of the past, for good.... i need to pick myself up, decide where i want to go and what i want to do... Is time to look at this life like it is: momentaneous... doesnt last too long , so i gotta grab it and live it while i can....

I ve stopped smoking, in my own terms, because i keep having weird dreams that i ll die of cancer or stuff related..in the weekend the few cigarrettes i had i did not finish, cause this terrible feeling came to me, every time i had a drag, i would feel like i was punishing my body.... so... this mornign i started smoke free!!! i know i ll be cranky for a while, but eventually i ll b fine :)

Since June 2005 my life has been hell, literally...nothing went well... i changed cause all the fucked up things that happened, fucked me up (sorry for my french ppl).... and i think it is about time i let go of all the angriness i have, and all the bitterness my past brought me... i was a happy person, i had the perfect life.... and im glad for that, but i want it back, and none can rescue me from myself, none..but me...

life as i knew it

The other day i watched again PS:I love you... and i was PMSing, so u can imagine the scene, me, the TV, loads of chocolates, popcorn and soda... and a pack of kleenex (which were not used)... i watched it, and got me thinkig... the moment i kissed TD for the first time i felt it , i felt my life was changing, that it wouldnt be the same again... i was in another dimension, i found something different and i knew i would be defying my society by loving him, i didnt care...at that moment...and i didnt care for the next 3 years.. the 4th (which was the 2nd in a long distance relationship)...that difference took a stoll on me..i begane to realize that it just wouldnt work, i had an amazing time with him, but i was a different person, and i was surprised, cause the last time i saw him, i didnt feel a thing, that was IT.....

I do believe in LOVE, but i also believe that LOVE changes, what was perfect becomes imperfect and life has a its ways to screw things up.... maybe i didnt love him enough, maybe i wasnt ready to make the big step...but the summary of all this is that i left and from time to time, i do feel a hole in my heart, i miss him terribly, i wish i could go back home and have him there waiting for me, but that is just loneliness talking, cause i know we wouldnt work anymore...is just not happening, and as much as i miss him, im full aware he wasnt THE GUY for me...but then again.. is there one????????

Maybe there is.... but im way to scared to actually accept him in my life... i think i have a tendency to find guys who I know will be no good, who i do not see a future with, and is all because i DONT want to COMMIT....im petrified, i love the feeling of belonginess u have in a committed relationship, but is too much work, and at this stage in my lfie, i just cant be bothered to put that amount of energy....

But will this feeling go away??will i be able to be wanting to commit to one person??? will i be able to accept a decent one in my life????

well, while i wait for those answers to be answered... i ll keep on partyin at weekends with the girls, dating for fun and enjoy every single minute of this life....cause that all i ve now..... :)

Two days in paris

On Sat night i went to the movies with my gfs and we watched this amazin movie..TWO DAYS IN PARIS... i didnt ve high expectations of such movie, and i thought it was going to be a chickflick...but man... was i wrong..it disected relationships, and at the end, she says something so true...and relates totally to me... here it goes:
"It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses. "

So, please rent it out, is worth it!!!!!

a girls night out

Last night i had a very nice night. For the first time in ages, i had a night out with a girl, and i didnt know how much i missed female bonding till then... my boys are cool and all, but sometimes you just need a female perspective...
She just came back to Dr, frm her studies abroad, and we kept complaining about the things we cant do here and the things we most miss about Europe... and there are so many...we both miss terribly go to the park, lie down and read books, and none bothering us , none trying to chat you up; we miss going to cafes and sit in complete silence, or go to clubs dressed the same way we went to class... but now that i look back what i miss the most is solitude.not loneliness, but just being quiet, in my own dimension and none around to bothering me....Amen europeans like the caribbean and latin countries for their lovely personality and cause you never feel alone, but its gets under your skin, when ppl dont seem to mind their bloody business, when ppl dont understand that one day, just one, for a few hours you need to be by yourself with your thoughts... and i know, i can do that in my house, but why should i retreat in my own house in order to be left alone, and why can i just lay down in a beach and enjoy the nature around me and the noise of the water??? Why??? Cause someone , out of nowhere will come and interrupt my thoughts... someone will come and ask me if i want dreadlocks, will ask me if i want something to drink, if i want something to eat...or there is always some bloody man who will ask you whats up? and women are not supposed to be alone in those places, and this whole thing is upsetting....

Im not a bitch nor am a ermitrania, im just someone who once in a while needs to enjoy life alone... and i did miss the warmth of the DR ppl, while i was in the UK, but i didnt miss it as much as i miss my privacy...

Oh.... and plus there is "what ppl might think talk" Jesus Christ, i can not even go to the supermarket that I WILL MEET someone that i know or that knows someone in my family, or to a CLUB (although i have been pretty lucky the last 2 fridays, i didnt see anyone i knew , apart frm the MBA ppl)... even the concierge,will talk about my arrival time to the house, and what car drove me home....uhmmm...so much gossiping, is exhausting...dont u all think???? I really dont care what ppl say, but my parents do...and i am a good grl (deep deep down) amen, i do not sleep around, i might snog a few ppl on the way, but i dont sleep just for the sake of sleeping, but i am independent, i go out when i please, i come back home whenever i want and i can drink like a man if i want to, i smoke cigarettes....and just cause all this traits, some ppl might think im a loose cannon...until the know me... and like my boys... respect me.....while there are others, who have a "pantalla", show to the outside world what they want to see , but are complete loose girls.... uhmmmmm

well... i have been rambling a lot lately... i better go... 2 nite is poker night at TO's place..and tmw we r going to watch independent movies... i ll keep u posted,

Another day

We had an incident at the Embassy on Monday..One of the women that works here (and that have the contract directly with the Italian Govermenent) chained herself to her office chair. I still dont know why. She unchained herself on Tuesday, which meant that the Carabiniere had to sleep here..now i dont know how to feel towards her, is she just mental? or she is brave beyond measure? cause she most have had a good point to chain herself.. and she cant be fired cause only the Italian president can, and i doubt he was aware of what was going on in this little Embassy....uhmmmm

The things of this country.. i am considered at school the revolutionary/and the team leader, cause i dont shut up, amen, if the school is doing something wrong i ll talk about it, i wont be quiet..last night was one of those days.. we got to school and the Dean told us to be in the lecture room at 6 on the dot, we went there, only to hear him say that we wouldnt have lectures that day, cause the teacher told them he couldnt make it and they had a hard time finding a replacement. He said that the lecturer told them that same day, which is SO NOT TRUE, cause the lecturer told us on MONDAY that he wouldnt be able to give us any lectures for the rest of the month...so i guess they just forgot to send us an email telling us that..Amen, we are supposed to be in the BEST BUSINNESS SCHOOl in the country and this is what happens?? and was i supposed to keep quiet?? No no no, i just gave him my evil look, and he wouldnt look at me, cause he knew i was the one who would tell him 2 things straight to his face, i told him that was just silly, plus with the oil prices going up, it was a waste of my time and money.... he said sorry..thats the only thing he could say..... uhmmm....maybe i should chain myself to my school, lets see if they start acting like CEO, cause thats what they claim to be...

Since we had the afternoon off, is not like we would go to our houses..we went to a Bar, we had such an amazing time, after a couple of Cosmos y drank like 5 bottles of water ( i was driving and there was no way on earth i would drink and drive), and the boys were amazing, my abnoxious gf was there, but there was the buffer there, so no harm done... on friday night we planned a poker night at TO place...it will be fun(I LOVE POKER)!!!!!!!! i ll keep u posted

Las cuatro (sorry x los copyrights, pero les robe la idea a las chicas del Blog: Antes de los 30)

Cuatro trabajos que he tenido:En orden cronológico...
1.-Traductora para estudiantes internacionales
2.- Ejecutiva de cuentas (PR)
3.- Consultora de la Embajada de Italia
4.- VP Marketing & PR

Cuatro películas que puedo ver una y otra vez:
1.- Stepmom
2.- Jules et Jill
3.- La vita e Bella
4.- When Harry met Sally

Cuatro lugares donde he vivido:
1.- Roma, Italy
2.- Santo Domingo, DR
3.- Leicester, UK
4.- London, UK

Cuatro programas de tv que me gusta ver:
1.- Sex and the city
2.- Greys Anatomy
3.- Gilmore Girls
4.- Gossip Girl

Cuatro lugares a donde he ido de vacaciones:
1.- BCN
2.- Caracas
3.- Washington
4.- Etiopia

Cuatro de mis comidas preferidas:
1.- Berenjena a la parmesana
2.- Chicken Tikka
3.- Bakhlava
4.- Lo que sea que mi madre cocine J

Cuatro sitios web que visito a diario:
1.- Facebook
2.- Gmail
3.- listin.com.do
4.- Times.co.uk

Cuatro lugares donde quisiera estar ahora:
1.- Mi cama
2.- Cayo Levantado, con un Ipod y unos cuantos libros
3.- En Leicester, en Vicky park, tirada en la grama, con mis amigos, bebiendo Chilled Chardonnay y leyendo libros.
4-En la casa de campo de mi abuelo, en Roma

Cuatro trabajos que me gustaría tener:
1.- Profesora de ninios pequenios
2.- Voluntaria para ninios huerfanos
3.- Editora de una revista de modas
4.- Viajar probando diferentes tipos de comidas…uhmmm (se mehace agua en la boca d tan solo pensarlo)

Cuatro famosos que he conocido:
Julio Iglesias

Cuatro platos que detesto:
1.- Cornflakes
2.- Conejo
3.- Pato
4.- Mondongo

Cuatro electrodomésticos que tengo, que sean fuera de lo común:
1.- todo normal en ese dpto…

Cuatro posibles primeras impresiones que causo:
1.- Reservada
2.- Come m.
3.- Sencilla
4.- Ironica

Cuatro copas favoritas:
1.- Chilled white wine
2.- Cubeta
3.- Vodka con cramberry
4.- Aftershock

Cuatro olores favoritos:
1.- La grama recien cortada
2.- El olor de la lluvia
3.- Vainilla
4.- Todos los perfumes de hombres

Cuatro cosas que me encanta hacer y que no tienen que ver con mi carrera:
1.- Cocinar
2.- Leer
3.- Yoga
4.- Ver TV :P (pero a lo mejor si tiene algo ke ver con mi carrera :P)

Cuatro cosas para las que estoy negado:
1.- Bailar Salsa, merengue, tango, cualquier cosa que requiera mover la colita
2.- Mentir (mis ojos no me dejan)
3.-Dejar de fumar
4.- ver la Floricienta con mi hermanita

Cuatro cosas que colecciono:
1.- portavasos
2.- Quotes
3.- Flores secas
4.- Recuerdos

Cuatro canciones favoritas:
1.- Fast Car (tracy Chapman)
2.- Otherwise (Morcheeba)
3.- Barefoot and dirty jeans (Peppercorn)
4.- Rolling Stone (bob Dylan)

Cuatro libros favoritos:
1.- Los Miserables (Victor Hugo)
2.- Cien Anios de Soledad (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
3.- Bridget Jones
4.-A long way down/ High Fidelity (Nick Hornby)

2nd week of june..

Im having problem with a friend of mine, she is just abnoxious... she stresses me out, is needy and wants so much attention, every tiem i go out and i dont invite her she asks why i didnt invite her. Cammon!!! are we in highschool??? and im not talkin about another 25yrs old like me, no, she is 38, with a kid and divorced and really she is starting to piss me off big time.... How i wish my best friend was here with me :(

Well, im not having one of the best days 2day, i dont want to be at work..yet here i am, i want to be in bed...and im not...and i want icecream, but there is no ice cream near here.....ufffff