against the flow

I have this feeling, im a different person, 8 years, 2 serious relationships could just suppress the feeling, but did not delete it...

Is it love? is it lust? is it just remembering a past where i was happy? but then again, is not like ourt past was a walk in the park, in fact our relationship was more of a wild rollercoaster ride, with way too many bumps, still, even though i was with someone else, living with that person, waking up by his side and being super happy, he was always there, like a shadow, like a memory i could not delete completely....

You hear all this stories, of ppl who get together after years and years, and it looks like a fairytale, i dont believe in those, but now.... now i know we have both grown, i feel it, im way much chill out...and after all my experiences, i can only trust him more...is like..i dont know...is this love?????? is this what ppl experience?????

I trust him, too much...i believe what he says, i trust him not to betray me, i trust him not to hurt me on purpose...i TRUST someone..thats weird..pretty pretty weird.... and all i want to do is hug him, and wake up next to him day after day, and face the world together.....

But...how do i explain this feeling to the ppl that surround me? how do i explain he coming back to my life without causing a world war III?

this time i have all the time in the world, i will not rush , i ll savor every single moment, and when everything is settled..... i ll be ready to go, once again..against the flow......