Now im 38 days from my wedding day...it breaks my heart everytime i think about it and know that she wont be there for my special day...neither will be there my grandad (who i loved and still love like i will never love again).... Getting back to my grandma and her wisdom.... she once told me to never marry a man whom i loved more than he loved me, cause i would end up hurting...obviously i didnt believe her, i thought that those were just thoughts of old fashioned women and that in the 21st centuries that wasnt just right...So i went through life having boyfriends and loving them.... getting hurt in the way, getting so hurt that after almost a decade i decided to stay single and ve babies on my own when i reached my 30's...thats a thought that would ve killed my grandparents....
So the universe, (or my grandparents from heaven?? who knows?) decided to send to my path a young good man... And i fought at the beginning, i didnt want to fall in love...eventually i got engaged, inlove yes, but scared like hell cause i didnt know what i was going into to...in this 9 months of engagement i ve wanted to call it off a hundred times, however i never could end it...cause he was there, just patient, like knowing that my tantrums were just a way for me to push him away....
Now im 38 days away from the big day, and even though i wasnt sure , now i am, i know i am going down the altar inlove, totally and absolutely loving every bit of his existence, not infatuated, not like a school girl, but with a kind of mature love, where i have the trust, the companionship and the confort..... and maybe grandma was wrong in one thing, cause i love him just as much as he loves me.... or maybe she just didnt structure well her thoughts and what she meant was that i needed to marry someone who i wasnt infatuated with..... who know? but im sure that she is up there with grandpa, smiling down at me and at him...cause we might
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