martes, 2 de febrero de 2010

-38 days

My grandma was a wise wise woman, everything she said was always right, maybe at first things were not really true but in the long run, life showed me she had the last word......
Now im 38 days from my wedding day...it breaks my heart everytime i think about it and know that she wont be there for my special day...neither will be there my grandad (who i loved and still love like i will never love again).... Getting back to my grandma and her wisdom.... she once told me to never marry a man whom i loved more than he loved me, cause i would end up hurting...obviously i didnt believe her, i thought that those were just thoughts of old fashioned women and that in the 21st centuries that wasnt just right...So i went through life having boyfriends and loving them.... getting hurt in the way, getting so hurt that after almost a decade i decided to stay single and ve babies on my own when i reached my 30's...thats a thought that would ve killed my grandparents....
So the universe, (or my grandparents from heaven?? who knows?) decided to send to my path a young good man... And i fought at the beginning, i didnt want to fall in love...eventually i got engaged, inlove yes, but scared like hell cause i didnt know what i was going into to...in this 9 months of engagement i ve wanted to call it off a hundred times, however i never could end it...cause he was there, just patient, like knowing that my tantrums were just a way for me to push him away....
Now im 38 days away from the big day, and even though i wasnt sure , now i am, i know i am going down the altar inlove, totally and absolutely loving every bit of his existence, not infatuated, not like a school girl, but with a kind of mature love, where i have the trust, the companionship and the confort..... and maybe grandma was wrong in one thing, cause i love him just as much as he loves me.... or maybe she just didnt structure well her thoughts and what she meant was that i needed to marry someone who i wasnt infatuated with..... who know? but im sure that she is up there with grandpa, smiling down at me and at him...cause we might

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