Life is a BItch

all of the sudden all my boys problems seem shallow and ridiculous... extremely stupid i must say.. when the man i adore the most in this world is ill... my dad that is... had been disgnosied with cancer 2 years ago, had gone through 2 3 surgeries already and 2 therapies.. and last night we found out that he needs another theraphy cause the bloody cancer wont leave him... another theraphie that his heart might not accept... another chance to lose him forever.. and it tears me apart... on my way to work today tears just kept flowing..the pain is umbearable... i miss him already...
im afraid, very afraid... how am i supposed to handle it without him? life wuldnt be the same.. fcuk!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to my life

To say that my life is complicated/funny/strange.. is to be nice..my life is f..up...completely... dont get me wrong, I AM HAPPY, and i like my life..but is just that sometimes it surprises me and makes me wonder who on earth is playing with me??is it God, and then if is him i hope he is enjoying the ride....cause sometimes i enjoy it too....

I cant not start by telling my whole life, cause in that situation, i would never stand up from this chair, and i ll just keep writing and writing, i ll just go along with my daily life and throw in, once in a while the past...And it will happen..cause my past hunts me..day and night... like an unwanted guest, he appears at weird times....

i almost hate my job (one of the 2 i do), and im tired of grad school and my coursemates... well apparently im the glue that sticks them all togheter and makes them have fun..