turns out K was dead right, and my fear was well founded.... X did just what he is good at, hurt me and leave me out in the cold, with no explanation, with nothing, just he is hurtful words, his coldness and he left behind, not a broken, but a shattered heart...confusion, tears, and he left me without energies....now i can see what K was talkin about the other day...this it is...this is how i use to feel....
as clear as the water from the mountains...i can see , he isnot fdor me, and i am not for him.... i am the worst copy of myself when im with him, and he doesnt bring my best side to shore...his negativity, his constant complaining....thats it....
and as i reemerge from the darkest hours and holidays of my life...i have a fewe moments a day of complete sanity and i am ok..... of course, still lingers the need to wanting to know, why? why me? why again? but then the answer i guess we all know....CAUSE I BLOODY WANTED IT..... i looked for trouble and trouble came to me....
i have a thousand and more questions for him, but i will never ask, i will never look for the answer...im tired..im exhausted...all my energies have been taken away... its time to hit teraphy again......
hope u all had a great xmas and new years.....
ahh.....after all is said and done....there is NOTHING left.....
